Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Very Sad Announcement

It is with enormous sadness that I come to report the death of my partner, AB. He will be sorely missed. He was a generous, kind, attentive and tender man. Blessed Be, dear one  xxx

Monday, April 22, 2013

I am currently reading a marvellous fan fiction by Kryptaria and BootsnBlossoms, over on AO3, called In Name Only.

I wanted to make comment here about this particular fic, as I know how the Comments one leaves on stories can get lost. The premise of the story is a bit too complex for me to try and explain here (go read it) (and the Meta from BootsnBlossoms), but it involves an exploration of the Dominant/submissive dynamic and I feel it is a topic important enough for me to address further, here.

Here's what I wrote in the Comments to this marvellous fiction:


I could slap Bond (even if he killed me before my hand ever met his stupid face), he's ruining a very beautiful submissive with no care at all. He's stupid and ignorant and selfish and self-absorbed and it's as close to unforgiveable as it can be whilst allowing that half those things are why he is good at his job.
Posted Mon 22 Apr 2013 05:01PM EDT

I feel the need to comment on my comment, having read the Meta from BootsnBlossoms. It's not a failure in your writing, BootsnBlossoms, that I am so angry at Bond. Quite the opposite actually. You see, whilst you have been in Bond's place, I have been in Q's.
I have the utmost respect for your work with abused people, because I have been there too. Imagine the conflict of being a victim of abuse (which Q isn't), but also being someone who welcomes (craves) a (consensual) Dominant/submissive relationship; that's where I have spent my life.
Q has struggled through, to find not only acceptance but to become a valued member of the Marketplace, and in comes Bond crushing him, killing all his hard-won self-confidence and self-worth, and putting him back almost to square one. Back to reviling himself for his honest feelings and emotional and sexual needs.
Bond is doing what he thinks is in Q's best interests. He is trying to 'save him from himself', believing him a victim. It's how the majority of Vanilla people think when they hear about BDSM of any sort. I'm not confusing the fantasy of story and the reality of life here when I say "We don't need none of your goddamn rescuing!". I;m speaking up for myself and my peers, who as _consenting adults_.
I could go on and on, but I'll not. Your writing is brilliant, that's why it is stirring such strong emotions in me. Seeing Q so filled with doubt that he starts seeing his life as a delusional fantasy land is ripping my heart out for him, though. Please give this an ending that _both_ participants would consider Happy, even if some readers may never understand that's what it is.
*Moved to tears*
Posted Mon 22 Apr 2013 05:23PM EDT


I'm here again!
shaded_sun said:
"I've changed my perspective, since I read Boots' meta thoughts on Bond. (I should have really read it before reading this chapter. ) I can see that it's very difficult for Bond to change the point of view of a lifetime - human trafficking, abuse, all the terrible aspects. I guess I have been somewhat blinded by my fanfic (generally BDSM-friendly) rose-tinted glasses. If you've seen what Bond has most likely seen in his line of work, I can definitely understand how it'd take more than a few days to think outside of that mindset and even longer to *believe* that those people chained, kneeling, at the Bistro and the restaurant and the shibari demonstration, that they are not the same as the trafficked slaves he's more familiar with. Thanks for the thinky-meta post, Boots! :)"
I wanted to make it clear that in no way whatsoever do I intend to minimise the horribleness of human trafficking or child abuse. Nor do I want to deny the character of Bond his experiences and outlook.
Trafficking and paedophilia are illegal, immoral and wholly unacceptable behaviours.
Being Dominant or submissive (or Sswitchy) are states of mind (and spirit) which are as worthy of defense as are being homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, heterosexual or etc. and should not be considered illegal, immoral or unacceptable.


Posted Mon 22 Apr 2013 05:42PM EDT


I whole-heartedly support the right for non-heterosexual people and people who wish to partake of BDSM to determine and police their own course of actions.  I utterly oppose the tendency of certain cohorts of Vanilla people to judge us and find us 'terrible'. It's as bigoted and backward as considering other people 'terrible' for having non-white (pink) skin.

I also whole-heartedly support the civil authorities in opposing human trafficking and paedophilia, which involve the NON-CONSENSUAL subjugation of others.

Too, I oppose the forces in this world that non-consensually make soldiers and rape victims out of children, even where those forces are the civil authorities.

Herein endeth the Rant.