Bless this Man

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WaySeer

This is important, so go look at it, and if you 'get' it, sing up and sign up!

WaySeer Manifesto

Polyamoury - excellent article

There's a short but brilliant article about polyamoury here.

What not to ask a gay guy (or a bisexual person)

Thanks to Davey Wavey for this wonderful video. What he says goes for what not to ask a Bisexual Babe Woman like me too...

Not really! I love answering dumb questions from even dumber questioners, especially when I am using MIRC. Ask away peeps, but remember I have a most evil sense of humour. You have been warned.

More stuff Haydn has said

Haydn, in the same post I blogged about earlier, says:

The more sexually vulgar I could be the better. I loved to shock, be controversial and say things to put people off me. I had an almost obsessive need to have sex with any man I could find. I just wanted to have sex with someone who had not had to force me, hold me down, make me cry and cause me pain. I wanted to be in charge for a change.

I've been there. I still am there sometimes. I control people by how and when I disclose things. I like to shock, to shake up their happy little pictures of who I am. I don't make things up, though. I don't have to. I really have dated five people at once/ I really am a witch. I really am bisexual. My manipulations involve who I disclose what to, and at which moment I do so.

I've come to realise lately how important 'control' is to me, mainly because my life has been taken out of my hands so much lately. Maybe that is why D/s relationships interest me.

Haydn's wish to "put people off me" rings true too. It's a defense mechanism, I believe. If you've been abused you don't really want people to touch you, either physically or emotionally, and most definitely you don't want to risk being hurt by their touch. So we develop ways of making ourselves revolting to others, either through looks or mannerisms, by what we say or what we do, by making ourselves seem eccentric or plain old crazy. Been there and still doing that.


If you recignuse the kind of person Haydn speaks about, ask them some day if they have been abused in the past. We can't be other than we are, but I will tell you that if you try, if you look past the front and make contact with the interior person, you will find a friend--or maybe even a partner--so loyal and loving that you may never get rid of them.

Cabbages and Kings

A friend has been running some blog entries past me by a guy called Hadyn. Hadyn was abused as a child, as I was. He gives a very personal account of his life and his feelings.

In this episode, 'Sexually Abused to Death', Haydn talks about the ghost of the child he was before the abuse began. I recognise this concept in myself. Effectively I stopped growing my persona at the age I started being abused. Someone else came along to fill what should have been her shoes. The low self-confidence and bitterly low self-esteem I experience when I enter what I term 'a downslide' belong to who she became, not who she was meant to become.

Person Centred Counselling (which I have accessed a number of times) attempts to help us be who we were meant to be, stripped of the rubbish other people (significant people like parents, teachers and abusers) have caused us to pick up since we were born - our 'authentic self'. I am reminded of a kids show I used to watch (Crackerjack) when I think of this...they had a game every show where the kids won a prize every time they got a question right and a cabbage every time they got one wrong. They got to keep answering questions for as long as they could hold the pile of prizes and cabbages. The art of being our 'authentic selves' is learning keep the prizes and lose the cabbages. PCC is an attempt at a 'reset'.


I'm not my authentic self, in PCC terms. I may never get to be that person. You see, you can discard the cabbages, but their smell hangs around.

So yes, I too am haunted by the child I was before the abuse. I catch tiny glimpses of her. Occasionally she comes along and stamps her feet and acts up, too. As a little girl it's all she knows how to do, or has the strength to do, when faced with injustice and cruelty and wrongness. She's dead but she doesn't know it, and she won't lie down like a good little corpse.


Haydn says:

I am sure abusers and those who have never been abused fail to realise that the abuse lives with the abused for the rest of their life.

For an abuser it is an act of pulling up his pants and leaving the room but for the abused it is a lot more than that. An abuser thinks with his very little head whereas the abused has to think with the head on his or her shoulders.

I disagree. I believe abusers know exactly how great an impact they are making. I believe that's a part of what gets them off. It is that which makes the act of abuse so unforgiveable as far as I am concerned.

It's interesting that my friend directed me to this particular part of Haydn's blog today, because there was an episode of 'Doctors' on this afternoon which posited that it was 'so sad' that a one-time abuser was rejected by his wife when the truth came out. The character committed assault on a girl of 12 when he was 20. His wife gets pregnant when he is 45 and he explains to her why her proposing to keep the baby is distressing him so much. When she turns away from him he commits suicide. Good riddance, imho. The writer clearly wanted us to empathise with the man, who had 'paid his dues' by going to prison for what he did. Only problem is, in the real world, his victim would never get to exhume her child-self from the grave his act of perversion put her into. So if your bleeding heart feels abuse and assault is can be absolved by a period of jail time and /or chemical castration, shove it up your a*s*!
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The Down Side of Christmas

I am very aware that Christmas brings with it a high rate of suicides. Please, if you are down over the holidays, don't choose this option. No matter what you are feeling right now, you are an important part of the universe and very much needed here.

I especially want to tell those who are low because of gender issues that you are very loved, no matter what you have heard or what treatment you have received from bigots or from those in your family who cannot see you for the beautiful person you really are. You deserve to live and to have the chance to find love and acceptance. Please don't take away that right from yourself.

If you are in Manchester you can start your search for help at the LGF in Manchester.

If you are LGBT and in need of help and are in London try here: 020 7837 7324 (daily 10am -11pm)

If you are in Wales the LGBT Cymru Helpline is 0800 840 28069

Or try here at the Gay and Lesbian Humanist Association.


I have Seasonally Affected Disorder, OCD Hoarding, Depression and Anxiety issues. I know how horrendously down this time of year can get people because I've been there myself. The black dog loves to come nipping at my heals at this time of the year, and I did ring the Samaritans on Boxing Day once.

In the UK dial 08457 90 90 90. In the Republic of Ireland dial 1850 60 90 90.

Or visit the Samaritans website for more info


If you are not in Britain, the Befrienders website tells of help available worldwide.


Stay safe and cling to hope. If you're alive something can always be done. Blessed Be.

How Do I Know I am Bisexual (or Humanosexual, Omnisexual, Pansexual or anything the hell else you want to call it) ?

This entry was sparked by a conversation I had with a fellow Romance Author. I commented how I realised I was Bisexual and not gay, and it made me think to share it with you, my reader(s), here.

My first (consensual) sex was with another woman. I was utterly in love with her (still am). I had never, previously to this, found a guy who I liked or loved enough to want to be sexual with him. I wondered, then, if I was a lesbian? I decided to wait a while before trying to answer that for myself.

A little time passed and I realised that actually, whilst I adored my woman and was completely happy to be monogamous with her, I also had interest in and fantasies about various men (mostly actors). I concluded I must, therefore, be bisexual rather than 'simply' gay. More time passed and I fell in love with a man, then another... then other people... One day I wake up and realise I have five 'significant others' of various sexual orientations and gender identities. That's when I learnt about polyamoury, from the inside.

I can and often do feel romantic towards/Love/fuck more than one person at a time, with the same intensity and 'gaga' blissfulness that other people love their one 'true' love. I count myself very lucky.

My Top Ten of Male Totty

The following, in no particular order, are the most beautiful men I know of:

Gareth David Lloyd (Lead singer of Blue Gillespie, also played Ianto Jones in Torchwood)

The blond model off the cover of Evangeline Anderson's book 'Slave Boy' (If anyone knows this man's name please leave me a message / comment).

Hugh Jackman (Wolverine in the X-Men movies)

John Barrowman (Singer, also plays Captain Jack Harkness in Torchwood)

James Marsters (Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Captain John Hart in Torchwood)

Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker, the original Star Wars Trilogy)

John Constantine, Hellblazer (Graphic Novels / Comics character from DC Comics)

Crying Freeman (From the Crying Freeman Graphic Novels and comics)

Dhillon Khosla (Author)

Brandon Lee (The Crow in the movie of the same title, son of Bruce Lee, Martial Artist)


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My Top Ten of Female Totty

I love all of these beautiful women, so in no particular order:


Diana Rigg (Emma Peel from The Avengers)

Louise Jameson (Leela from Doctor Who)

Alex Kingston (Riversong from Doctor Who, Moll Flanders)

Elizabeth Sladen (Sarah Jayne from the Sarah Jayne Chronicles and Doctor Who)

Jodie Prenger (Singer)

Kirsten Vangsness (Penelope Garcia from Criminal Minds)

Pauley Perrette (Abby from NCIS)

Jeri Ryan (Seven of Nine from Voyager)

Angelina Jolie (Lara Croft et al)

Jessie Blackwood (Authoress)
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Gender Binary, US Health Care and Intersexed Babies

The segment which follows Leslie's fifth chapter in Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink and Blue is 'Portrait' by Cheryl Chase. The article criticises policies in the USA which on the one hand criticise African cultures for ignoring, promoting and approving of genital mutilation of girls whilst not addressing the genital mutilation of USA citizens carried out in response to the cultural desire of parents (and others) who want to know 'Is it a girl, or a boy?'

Cheryl tells us that:

Since the late 1950s in the United States, it has been standard to treat the birth of a child with unusual genitals as a 'social emergency', and to remedy the discomfort of parents and doictors by genital surgery on the infant. Motivated in part by a fear that the children might grow up homosexual, doctors performed cosmetic genital surgery on about 1 in 2,000 children. The vast majority medically unnecessary, these surgeries remove clitoral tissue, excavate vaginal cavities, or move or extend urethras. Outcomes are poor in functional, cosmetic, and emotional terms. Surgeries are often repeated, sometimes over a dozen times."

Cheryl Chase also claims that "surgeons assign nine out of ten intersex infants they see as girls" and, citing Suzanne Kessler, also asserts that "genital ambiguity is 'corrected' because it threatens not the infant's life but the culture the infant is born into".


I was aware this sort of thing went on, but even Chase's article doesn't give us real figures for how often it occurs. I suspect there are no figures recorded. Until we, the adults, stop asking "Is it a boy or a girl?" the mutilations will continue and the world will be the poorer for it. Diversity is the catchphrase my own government uses when talking about Equality. I want my government to mean what it says and to accept that the 'gender binary' is a lie, a myth, an unreality, and recognise that gender comes in diverse forms too.
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'Gender Binary' and Single Sex Wards in Hospitals

I am, ostensibly at least, female. I have female genitalia and mostly (65% or so) female attitudes and sensibilities. As such, I was all in favour when my government announced that it's initiative to have all hospital wards segregated into single gender wards in the near future.

For me, being in hospital is scary enough, without fearing assault from my fellow patients, sexual or otherwise. Recently I was close to being admitted and the receiving ward was mixed gender. I was very anxious that I might have to spend even a small amount of time in this mixed ward.

Today I read 'I Can't Afford to Get Sick', from Leslie Feinberg's book, Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink and Blue. Yes, this is a rant about the costs of health care in the USA, but it also protests the treatment received by Transpersons when they enter the US health care system.

Feinberg reveals:

"When my fever first spiked, I did not have a doctor to call. As a transgender adult, I had only sought treatment in life-and-death situations. Moments when I was weakened and scared because of illness were times I least relished a stranger examining my body; I felt vulnerable to potential hostility."

As an obese person I can relate to this. I too find physical examinations, especially gynaecological ones, incredibly intimidating, and I am always trepidatious that I will be ridiculed or spoken down to by the staff attending me. Sometimes this has been the case, my fears are the children of experience.

Feinberg asserts that:

"...prejudice and hatred nearly killed me because I didn't fit into the rigid female or male ward system."

Sie adds that even well-meaning medical staff sometimes get it wrong because they are ignorant of the past experiences which may have caused their trans patients to protect their gender identity when being admitted. Sie also tells us that birth gender is still used to determine which ward trans patients are placed on, however inappropriate that is. Frankly, it sucks. That there is no nice clear way to resolve the issue is sad; I cannot accept Feinberg's suggestion of assigning people to wards based on what ails them as being a better alternative, unfortunately, because I would still be afraid of having to sleep in a mixed ward. Hell, I'm afraid of sleeping with strangers, whatever gender they are because, contrary to popular belief, it's not just men who sexually or physically assault women, and it's not just women who are subjected to such assaults either.

If you think you know a solution, please share!
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The Wisdom of Others - Community

The following editorial, by Tris Reid-Smith, appeared in the November 10th edition of Gay Times:

"Does the gay community really exist? Obviously it does - just like we are all part of a community where we live, whether we bother to speak to our neighbours or not. We have shared interests and shared needs and what effects one of us often effects all of us.

"The better question to ask is whether out gay (or LGBT if you prefer) community lives up to its potential or our expectations? Often it does - just look at the leading role queer activists played in protesting the Pope's visit to Britain and making it clear that his homophobia was not welcomne. But that doesn't mean gay people are incapable of being selfish, apathetic and dishonest,

"Saying that such behaviour proves there is no gay community or gives you an excuse to opt out of it is selfish too. I don't say that lightly as it is often decent people who have made an effort to give something back that are the most disillusioned. But when you're knocked down you have to get up and carry on - that's not rewarding those people who have treated you unfairly, it's proving them wrong."

To quote Chumbawumba's 'Tub Thimping':

"I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down!"

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The Wisdom of Others - History, Identity, Words (rant warning!)

Gary Bowen, (writing in Feinberg, 1998:63-66) offers the following observations on where we should draw from in our struggle to identify ourselves:

"...Spirit gives to each of us Visions of who we are which we must manifest in the material world to the best of our ability. (p64)

"It is extremely important to remember that 'transexual' and 'transgendered' are terms that have arisen out of the dominant [white and westernised] culture's experience with gender, and are not necessarily reflective of a wide variety of people, cultures, beliefs and practices relating to gender. (p63-4)

Bowen tells us that the term 'twin-spirit' has negative connotations in some Native settings, having a similar meaning to 'mulato', or translating as 'ghost-haunted'. The correct Native term for a F2M is apparently 'kurami', whilst the term for a M2F is 'winkte'.

"Spirit is not divided in itself, but is an integrated whole... there are seven cardinal directions: east, west, north, south, up, down and center, as the Native viewpoint embraces dimensions not normally noticed by the dominant [white and westernised] culture. (p65)

I am grateful to Bowen for these insights into the words we use for ourselves and those which are applied to us by others. I am less impressed, however, by the undertone his writing has of counter-bigotry. His choice of 'get your hands off my culture' language, whilst understandable, is unhelpful, I feel. So too is his assumption that his own Native culture holds exclusive rights to certain spiritual insights, such as the above described view of the cosmos.

Bowen says:

"There are many 'magpies' who are drawn to latch onto the bright, shiny aspects of Native culture, who misappropriate Native culture, customs and artifacts in the belief that they are 'honouring' Native people by imitating them without understanding them. It is better for non-Native people to follow our example by looking to their own ancestors and reclaiming their own transgendered spirituality... white people need to reclaim their own sacred people instead of appropriating ours." (p66)

I feel that Bowen is belittling pink-skin culture and the historical experiences of us pink-skins here. It is a fact that the majority of 'white, westernised' peoples abandoned their heritage long before they endeavoured to impose their mish-mashed culture(s) on others. Tracing our ancestors is a very difficult task for most of us pink-skins. Understanding them is even harder. I believe, because Spirit tells me so, that I am Celtic in origin, yet science tells me I am Viking by blood. Parts of my spiritual community attempt 'Reclaiming' - but so fragmented and distorted are our pink-skin histories that it is unclear whether what they come up with is anything like that which they seek. Too, I partially subscribe to the 'Seven Daughters of Eve / seven tribes' theory or evolution, and know full well that the colour of my skin has more to do with the climate of where my, originally nomadic, ancestors settled than who I am and how I identify myself. Where am I to look for my ancestors, my language and my sacred Trans people?

I reserve the right, then, to collect those bright and shining terms and ideas which call to me in Spirit, which come to me in my own Visions, and to consider them to be my very own because of the Truth they speak about Me and who I am.
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The Wisdom of Others - I'm Okay, You're Okay

"The way in which individuals express themselves is a very important part of who they are. It is not possible to force all people to live outside of femininity and masculinity. Only androgynous people live comfortably in that gender space. there's no social compulsion powerful enough to force anyone else to dwell there...

"Why would we want to ask anyone to give up their own hard-fought-for place on the gender spectrum? There are no rights or wrongs in the ways people express their own gender style. no-one's lipstick or flattop is hurting us. No-one's gender expression is any more 'liberated' than anyone else's" - Feinberg (1998:53).

It strikes me that submissives are often subjected to bigotry by the various (fractured) liberation movements. Female submissives are certainly berated for playing into the hands of 'male-dominated' society, or of betraying the 'women's liberation' movement, when they express their self-defined gender and sexuality. I have not myself witnessed it, but I suspect gay male submissives, for example 'cubs', are equally oppressed by those not in the same headspace as them.

As a Dominant and Mistress I feel that I must (and I will) defend the rights of submissives and bottoms to express their gender and sexual identities at least as vigorously as I defend my own.


Bibliography

Feinberg,L.(Ed.), 1998), Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink and Blue, Boston (USA): Beacon Press
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The Wisdom of Others - Loving and Supportive Relationships

Regular readers will know that recently I have bveen reading 'Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue', edited by Leslie Feinberg. Much of what Feinberg and his fellow writers in this volume have written speaks to me, so I am sharing here via a number of entries.

Cynthia Phillips has this to tell to us:

"She was so matter-of-fact telling me that I was not shocked or upset about it; I just accepted it as a part of someone I was in love with. I felt that Linda was such a fine person that anything she did could not be a bad thing. I always have looked inside a person and have not been concerned about appearance. So when I looked into Linda's (Jim's) soul I saw someone who had the qualities I desired in a person I planned on spending my life with." (p41)

Feinberg adds:

"Our significant others are not observers of 'our' oppression. They are not 'related' to our movement. All our significant others are partners in the life-changing experience of trans-consciousness and struggle." (p46)

For my own part, whilst I have not been blind to appearances, how someone looks is no longer the primary factor in deciding who I chose to sleep with and care about. It has never been a factor in who I 'choose' to love -- when I love I do so instinctively, without rationalising or being able to consciously select the objects of my affection.

I am eternally grateful for the support I have received from all of my allies -- my partners and friends, lovers and loved ones. Your willingness to let me be and to help me be the person I am is the greatest of treasures.
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The Wisdom of Others - The Need for Unity

I have been reading 'Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue', edited by Leslie Feinberg. This slim but very significant volume of Trans wisdom has been having a considerable effect on my thinking. I want to share some of what I have learned here.

The book's main message is that unity is the way forward in the fight for our rights as human beings. All non-mainstream societies need to work together to shift the balance of power away from a monopoly serving the majority to a society where people who are differenced and diversified are truly recognised, honoured, and imparted the same rights as the majority. The book whole-heartedly condemns the 'in-fighting' and condemnation of differenced people sometimes seen in LGBT society. I find myself agreeing with most of what is presented in this book.

Feinberg observes:

"All of us in this society are wounded. But we don't always know where each other's injuries are located. That means we may thoughtlessly hurt each other. Everyone who has been treated injustly or been disrespected in this society is full of justified anger. I believe we need to take care not to unleash that rage on each other" (p55)

"...None of us can ever be free while others are still in chains. That's the truth underlying the need for solidarity. Trans liberation is inextricably linked to other movements for equality and justice."(p48)

"..Non-one who has pitched in to build and defend women's and lesbian, gay, bi liberation is a 'traitor' because of who they love , or because they have transitioned..."

I'm not currently actively involved in my local LGBT community. I have never publicly identified as a Lesbian, though in my head I did in the past, for a brief period before working out it wasn't where I was at, so I won't be condemned for 'switching allegiances', at least not by that branch of our community. I;ve not contributed much either, though, so can I legitimately claim the rights others have unknowingly fought for on my behalf?

Feinberg quotes a Chinese proverb:

"The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it" (p61)

I am increasingly drawn to becoming 'a person who does'. How I shall achieve this remains to be seen, but one way, I think, may be to become involved in developing an LGBT branch within the Equality and Diversity policy of my workplace. I have fears about doing so - whilst students may be given their liberties as a result of such action, staff may remain suppressed and vulnerable to attack. I do not know if I am prepared to take risks in this regard.

Recently though I have 'trail blazed' for another sector of my workplace community, those suffering work-related mental health issues. I didn't ask to be a trail blazer. All I wanted was to be allowed to work in peace and to the best of my ability. At times I have resented my role as guinea pig and ground breaker. I am told much has been achieved in this real because of me. If I can, then, do so much when not trying, how much more could I achieve on a battlefield of my own choosing? Yet too, I am cautioned by experience of the need to 'choose your battles carefully'. Thus, what I will eventually undertake to do for my community remains to be seen. What occurs shall be reported here, in time.
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Labels, labels everywhere...

I just learnt that some people born with female genitalia refer to themselves as 'Male to Male', "in recognition of the fact that they had not ever felt female in their lives" (Feinberg, 1998:43). I don't know why this came as a surprise to me, it makes sense in context.

Other words you might see used when looking into the concept of gender identity include: tomboy, butch, femme, female cross-dresser, male cross-dresser, transexual, transgender, male-to-male, female-to-male, male-to-female, transman, transwoman, drag queen, drag king, F2M, M2F, third sex, twin spirited, intersexual...

Words are very powerful--they can include or they can exclude, they can praise or they can condemn, they can comfort or crush. The words we choose to apply to ourselves and to others are the most important of all. Think of the language of 'personal ads'--each term paints a picture of who we are and what we want and expect of our lives and of those we opt to share them with.

My own self-definition has proven quite fluid. I have gone from 'wiccan' to 'pagan' to 'witch'. I have gone from 'bisexual' to 'pansexual' to 'humano-sexual/humano-romantic'. My gender identity is unresolved. I am content to live in a female body, but I know that is not the entire sum of my being. I fairly often express my 'inner gay male' as well as my 'inner bisexual female' and my 'inner gender-neutral pansexual'. I would presently consider myself to be 'pangendered'. I am not wrongly identified as female, I am just not completely accurately described by that term alone.

There are days when I very definitely see men with 'gay man's eyes' rather than with 'bisexual female's eyes'. It is fascinating to me to observe that my inner gay male appreciates a completely different set of men to those my female bisexual self. (He likes and craves muscle men; she finds muscular men vulgar and unappealing. He likes moderately hairy men; she likes men without body hair. He likes men who sport 'buzz cuts'; she likes long haired men). This 'split vision' has occurred with increasing frequency since I began writing M/M Romances. It's also interesting to me to note that my inner male is gay rather than bisexual or pansexual; when I lust after a woman it is my female aspect that is involved, never my male aspect.

Do our labels serve any real purpose? Only if you subscribe to the idea that a lover or a soulmate can be located by giving a proscriptive list of ideal qualities for the person you think you 'WLTM' and discarding all other applicants. Personally I am open to all sorts of relationships, I don't want to exclude someone from my radar who might just prove that addage of 'opposites attract', for example. 'Close fits' are definitely welcome to apply.

Contemplating the Wisdom of Others #2 - Am I a Tranny?

Okay, not PC... I'm an ignorant tart who isn't sure what PC term might best be applied to myself. Sorry about that.

It's a serious question, though, prompted by reading Leslie Feinberg's book, Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink and Blue.

Does the fact that I, on occasion, deliberately sport 'masculine' attire make me Trans? I wear the clothes...

1. to amuse myself and because I like how I look in them
2. to turn someone else on
3. to try and identify myself to and with others in the GBLT community
4. as a form of Cosplay, connecting with a fictional bisexual character I admire (Ianto Jones from Torchwood).

I used to have two cross-dressing partners. One was heterosexual, and may or may not have been 'bi-gendered', as Feinberg terms it. The other was Bi-sexual and gender ambivalent (he wanted to partially transition, to become a shemale). So I have been the partner of TransPersons too.

Labels, everything seems to be labels! I'm with Captain Jack Harkness (or Harkness-Jones, as he is in my own fanfiction Alternate Universe), we're too hung up on labels. But as humans we inevitably(?)use labels to socialise ourselves, and to separate ourselves from others socially too. We make judgements on which people we identify with and which people we, linguistically at least, vilify.

Leslie Feinberg comments on all of this in Trans Liberation, and I want to share some of the thoughts and ideas Leslie presents here (The following constitutes excerpts from a speech given by Leslie to the Ninth Annual Texas 'T' Party, which I understand is a convention for heterosexual cross-dressers and their partners):

"Misconceptions have been a barrier between our communities. In order to have any real dialogue, it means we must all listen carefully to each other... Many of us have been taught to identify ourselves by what we are not. But it's not a satisfying definition and almost always hurts the people we are defining away from. I believe we should strive for positive self-definition and also defend each other's self-identification as we do our own." (p22)

"We, as cross-dressers--gay, bisexual, lesbian and straight--and our partners, have a stake in challenging restrictive attitudes towards human behaviour and self-expression. And I believe that combating every form of prejudice against lesbian, gay and bisexual love has an importance for us here, as well." (p25)

"...cross-dressing has always been socially synonymous with gayness. I think this misconception is based on the fact that uni-gender lesbian and gay cross-dressers were socially visible and organized at a times when most bi-gender, heterosexual cross-dressers were isolated or members of 'underground' organizations." (p26)

"I understand the rage you must feel when someone claims that your identity is an expression of shame--that you are gay and won't admit it. And I have thought a lot lately about what it must feel like to have one person in the world who loves you. Who you yearn for sexually. And who you fear will spurn you and leave you if they mistakenly think that your sexuality has changed--that you must be gay." (p26)

I find this passage especially interesting. Feinberg is speaking to heterosexual cross-dressers, but the same understanding should likewise be extended to those of us who identify as bisexual, I feel. It is quite common for gays and lesbians to hold the same misconception about us, too.

"...you are revealing twin aspects of your gender expression...your sexuality has not changed." (P27)

Perhaps we bisexuals are revealing twin aspects of our sexual expression...our gender has not changed?

"We have all been wounded in the ways we negotiate sex and intimacy; we fear communicating our needs and desires. Greater freedom to conceive the limitless potential of human sexuality, without shame, is an important and necessary contribution to all of humanity." (p28)

Well yeah, I'd agree with that, except that 'gender' and 'sexuality' seem to have become interchangeable terms in this last passage, which they are NOT. My body is Female, my gender is under consideration, my sexual orientation is humano-sexual (pansexual), my emotional identity is humano-romantic ...and sometimes I cross-dress / cosplay...

Am I Trans? I am HUMAN. That's my biggest subset and I'm sticking with it. Though I don't mean to put barriers between myself and non-humans or hurt their feelings by defining myself away from them, okay? LOL.


Bibliography
Leslie Feinberg, (1998), Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink and Blue, Boston: Beacon Press.
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Blue Gillespie performing at Sex, Wales and Anarchy

EXPLICIT LYRICS

This is Blue Gillespie, fronted by Gareth David-Lloyd (the talented actor, singer and songwriter who played Ianto Jones in Torchwood). This is my favourite BG song, and I have the joyful memory of Gareth singing it at the gig at Manchester's Ruby Lounge (affectionately referred to as 'the tit gig'), where the delightful man was wearing less...



This performance was at Sex Wales and Anarchy (1), apparently, which is an annual event Gareth devised to promote unsigned talent in Wales. The song is called Bam Bam.

Buy Blue Gillespie stuff off Amazon UK and see them on You Tube, My Space, Twitter and Facebook and on their own website.