How Do I Know I am Bisexual (or Humanosexual, Omnisexual, Pansexual or anything the hell else you want to call it) ?

This entry was sparked by a conversation I had with a fellow Romance Author. I commented how I realised I was Bisexual and not gay, and it made me think to share it with you, my reader(s), here.

My first (consensual) sex was with another woman. I was utterly in love with her (still am). I had never, previously to this, found a guy who I liked or loved enough to want to be sexual with him. I wondered, then, if I was a lesbian? I decided to wait a while before trying to answer that for myself.

A little time passed and I realised that actually, whilst I adored my woman and was completely happy to be monogamous with her, I also had interest in and fantasies about various men (mostly actors). I concluded I must, therefore, be bisexual rather than 'simply' gay. More time passed and I fell in love with a man, then another... then other people... One day I wake up and realise I have five 'significant others' of various sexual orientations and gender identities. That's when I learnt about polyamoury, from the inside.

I can and often do feel romantic towards/Love/fuck more than one person at a time, with the same intensity and 'gaga' blissfulness that other people love their one 'true' love. I count myself very lucky.

My Top Ten of Male Totty

The following, in no particular order, are the most beautiful men I know of:

Gareth David Lloyd (Lead singer of Blue Gillespie, also played Ianto Jones in Torchwood)

The blond model off the cover of Evangeline Anderson's book 'Slave Boy' (If anyone knows this man's name please leave me a message / comment).

Hugh Jackman (Wolverine in the X-Men movies)

John Barrowman (Singer, also plays Captain Jack Harkness in Torchwood)

James Marsters (Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Captain John Hart in Torchwood)

Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker, the original Star Wars Trilogy)

John Constantine, Hellblazer (Graphic Novels / Comics character from DC Comics)

Crying Freeman (From the Crying Freeman Graphic Novels and comics)

Dhillon Khosla (Author)

Brandon Lee (The Crow in the movie of the same title, son of Bruce Lee, Martial Artist)


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My Top Ten of Female Totty

I love all of these beautiful women, so in no particular order:


Diana Rigg (Emma Peel from The Avengers)

Louise Jameson (Leela from Doctor Who)

Alex Kingston (Riversong from Doctor Who, Moll Flanders)

Elizabeth Sladen (Sarah Jayne from the Sarah Jayne Chronicles and Doctor Who)

Jodie Prenger (Singer)

Kirsten Vangsness (Penelope Garcia from Criminal Minds)

Pauley Perrette (Abby from NCIS)

Jeri Ryan (Seven of Nine from Voyager)

Angelina Jolie (Lara Croft et al)

Jessie Blackwood (Authoress)
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Gender Binary, US Health Care and Intersexed Babies

The segment which follows Leslie's fifth chapter in Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink and Blue is 'Portrait' by Cheryl Chase. The article criticises policies in the USA which on the one hand criticise African cultures for ignoring, promoting and approving of genital mutilation of girls whilst not addressing the genital mutilation of USA citizens carried out in response to the cultural desire of parents (and others) who want to know 'Is it a girl, or a boy?'

Cheryl tells us that:

Since the late 1950s in the United States, it has been standard to treat the birth of a child with unusual genitals as a 'social emergency', and to remedy the discomfort of parents and doictors by genital surgery on the infant. Motivated in part by a fear that the children might grow up homosexual, doctors performed cosmetic genital surgery on about 1 in 2,000 children. The vast majority medically unnecessary, these surgeries remove clitoral tissue, excavate vaginal cavities, or move or extend urethras. Outcomes are poor in functional, cosmetic, and emotional terms. Surgeries are often repeated, sometimes over a dozen times."

Cheryl Chase also claims that "surgeons assign nine out of ten intersex infants they see as girls" and, citing Suzanne Kessler, also asserts that "genital ambiguity is 'corrected' because it threatens not the infant's life but the culture the infant is born into".


I was aware this sort of thing went on, but even Chase's article doesn't give us real figures for how often it occurs. I suspect there are no figures recorded. Until we, the adults, stop asking "Is it a boy or a girl?" the mutilations will continue and the world will be the poorer for it. Diversity is the catchphrase my own government uses when talking about Equality. I want my government to mean what it says and to accept that the 'gender binary' is a lie, a myth, an unreality, and recognise that gender comes in diverse forms too.
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'Gender Binary' and Single Sex Wards in Hospitals

I am, ostensibly at least, female. I have female genitalia and mostly (65% or so) female attitudes and sensibilities. As such, I was all in favour when my government announced that it's initiative to have all hospital wards segregated into single gender wards in the near future.

For me, being in hospital is scary enough, without fearing assault from my fellow patients, sexual or otherwise. Recently I was close to being admitted and the receiving ward was mixed gender. I was very anxious that I might have to spend even a small amount of time in this mixed ward.

Today I read 'I Can't Afford to Get Sick', from Leslie Feinberg's book, Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink and Blue. Yes, this is a rant about the costs of health care in the USA, but it also protests the treatment received by Transpersons when they enter the US health care system.

Feinberg reveals:

"When my fever first spiked, I did not have a doctor to call. As a transgender adult, I had only sought treatment in life-and-death situations. Moments when I was weakened and scared because of illness were times I least relished a stranger examining my body; I felt vulnerable to potential hostility."

As an obese person I can relate to this. I too find physical examinations, especially gynaecological ones, incredibly intimidating, and I am always trepidatious that I will be ridiculed or spoken down to by the staff attending me. Sometimes this has been the case, my fears are the children of experience.

Feinberg asserts that:

"...prejudice and hatred nearly killed me because I didn't fit into the rigid female or male ward system."

Sie adds that even well-meaning medical staff sometimes get it wrong because they are ignorant of the past experiences which may have caused their trans patients to protect their gender identity when being admitted. Sie also tells us that birth gender is still used to determine which ward trans patients are placed on, however inappropriate that is. Frankly, it sucks. That there is no nice clear way to resolve the issue is sad; I cannot accept Feinberg's suggestion of assigning people to wards based on what ails them as being a better alternative, unfortunately, because I would still be afraid of having to sleep in a mixed ward. Hell, I'm afraid of sleeping with strangers, whatever gender they are because, contrary to popular belief, it's not just men who sexually or physically assault women, and it's not just women who are subjected to such assaults either.

If you think you know a solution, please share!
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